christmas eve is today. i woke up with a nosebleed and tears in my eye. i was wondering whats wrong. i thought that it was me who fear the Lord for I have sin in yesterday's church service. I have fear Him for I have doubt him, sin against him and forsaken the Lord. i want to be with God again. i want him to be the one sitting in the throne of my heart.

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

I have not confess yet. words are running through my mind how to pray for forgiveness. im weak again. im weak in the Lord.

The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall i fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Its christmas already and Jesus is the reason for the season. i am greatful i am His child and i am upset i have taken advantage of it and have sinned against him. I do hope i will burn in his fire again. For i have faith in Him, i will not go wrong.

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, Psalm 33:18

This day marks a new beginning. A beginning with ups and downs. but a beginning with God by my side walking through the path.

I’ll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
- Here I Am To Worship by Hillsong Australia

For he had been pinned on the cross just for us. Just to cleanse us. Just for US.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice "Eloi, Eloi, lama, sabachthani?" which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Matthew 27:46 and Mark 25:34

Jesus said "It is finished." John 19:30

Jesus told the world it is finished. His job is done. His teachings were taught. His advice were given. His healing was done. His preaching was clear. Now its OUR turn to do our job. and our task is to spread His glory, His miracles... most importantly, how important He is to the world. God is amazing and He is mighty in every sense. HE is why im living. HE is why the world exist. HE is responsible for everything. yes, even the bad things. the bad things is like a test to us. its a test from God to see how strong is our faith. how strong we are in Him. no matter how terrible He is responsible. just to see how strong we are. not only how strong but a test of faith. to see how great is our faith in Him. not only that, but most importantly teaching us lessons. God did not make the world perfect. there is good and bad. bad is to teach us to become good. good means nothing but bad. and the lesson to it is how we endure the worst. God is amazing. He made me the man i am today. God, for this i thank you. For being such a Father to me. :)